thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
