he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
