I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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