Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
