Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
