is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
