all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
