Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
