I'll bet she douches with gravy.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
