me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
