he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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