I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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