it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize