He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
