I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
