We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
