im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize