I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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