Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
