Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
