so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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