We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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