super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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