Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
