I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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