Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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