she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
