I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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