oh god the rape fog is back!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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