Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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