addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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