Don't you send me to vm
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
