PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
