i jhust puked up my retainher.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
