Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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