We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
