We're facebook friends in real life
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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