TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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