Who did Billy Mays play for?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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