Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
