I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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