i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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