I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
