he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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