I think I died a long time ago.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
