I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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