I am puke
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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