i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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