i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
