did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize