There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize