genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
