Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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