is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
