Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
