She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
