Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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