K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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