Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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