Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
