Hey man sorry I got all grabby
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
