my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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