if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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