THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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